“How’s That 2012 Election Working for Ya?”

Dear America,

Republicans:

How’s life treating you? No, really … How is life treating you? Boy, that Republican primary was really something wasn’t it? They called it what? A vetting process? I guess that’s one way of describing it. From where I sat, it looked more like a demolition derby. The winner has three flat tires, his rear end smashed up to the back window, and has steam and smoke billowing out from underneath the hood. But the Mittmobile is gassed up and ready to run the Indy 500.

Yes, by definition, I am a conservative, so let me be the first to commend you on a job well done Republican Party. That was quite a spectacle. That fabulous vetting process netted us one of the best looking mannequins that I’ve ever seen. His suit fits absolutely perfect, and talk about exciting! He really lights up a room doesn’t he? Boy, if we can just take back the White House with this guy, our problems should be all over!

Democrats:

How’s life treating you ? If your boy can just get four more years, he should have this country running like a finely tuned sewing machine, right? He was just learning how to put on the skates during that first term right? You’re not going to like hearing this, but your boy has a couple of fatal flaws. One, he doesn’t understand math. Two, if his testosterone level was half that of his wife, he’d be twice the man that he is. People who love this man have been blinded by his oratory skills, and have mistaken progressive thinking and intellectual soundness for acute weakness. His inability to solve problems is a result of his inability to lead or accept responsibility.

Read More Here:  “How’s That Election Working for You?”

Image representing HubPages as depicted in Cru...
Image via CrunchBase

rewritten with permission from the author and linked to HubPages, The Man With No Pants: copyright 2012

Advertisements